The earth is like a woman that is naturally beautiful.  If you tamper with her, you will ruin her.  If you treat her like a an object, you will lose her.  If you take that is not given, you will destroy her.  After she has been lost you try to embrace the memory of her.

You have passed a bench every time you have passed by the park during your busy commutes.  Feeling her slipping through your fingers you decide to stop and walk through the park.  There is a bench in the shade that is seemingly used not often enough.  Why is it that we decide to stop and live when we believe we are losing or have lost something or someone we really cannot possess?  The water keeps flowing as the feelings cloud all other senses.  Reflecting in the water is images of a role played, a insight to mirrored truths.

The cars passing on the bridge are drowned out by the sound of the water splashing against the rocks.  A breeze cools the soul from the fires of regret burning for so long.  The warm sun peeks through the tree branches as if to warm cold thoughts.  A glimmer of a memory of a selfless gift overcomes these regretful feelings.  Today is the day we take charge of our own lives.  We have the ability to see truths without pain to successfully be aware.  It is time to take time to be grateful for our lives, our loves.  In stillness the mind calms and the source of our lives energy is at our feet.

I have passed this park so many times on my busy schedules through the years.  I walked along this trail to get across town as a kid.  Usually to go to my favorite swimming hole down river.  One day I stopped and sat on this bench.  I found myself in a selfless way as I felt sense of wonder for our home.  Like a child lying in the grass looking up towards the stars on a hot summer night, a sense of belonging overtook my everyday routine.  Memories of a early relationship entered my peaceful solitude while I sat and gazed at the water.  My heart was broken when it ended years ago.  I do not know why feelings came back and why I felt fear as my thoughts shifted towards climate change.  .

Feeling the regret of words I could not take back out of anger I felt loss.  She was my world but I did not know me.  I took too much from her love and could not love her the way she wanted me to.  I could not spend any time with the one person I needed to and that person was myself.  I had too much fear so I was selfish and I took too much.  I thought that she was my world and I had lost her.  The fact is, I did not lose my world.  I was just starting to discover it.

I have had a very busy life and reality is it was redundant until change decided to visit.  A seed was planted by a break up, a loss of someone I could not possess.  A memory to become a tool for change. I was able to see my reflection and look myself in the eye. With the wind rustling through the pine trees needles the birds seemed to start singing.  They had always been there, I just did not hear them.   The beauty that surrounds us is as vulnerable as the woman I loved.  If I knew that I had enough I would not have took too much from her.  Like the world, if I knew what I was really doing I would have noticed her wilting. I could not see this cold hard fact in front of me.  I would have gave her nourishment to thrive not the poison from my run off.   I could have changed which would have made change then.  So today I have today to do better than yesterday.

Inspiration comes from within 

     Inspiration to achieve great things is only limited by your imagination, Influenced from a passion that differs from your everyday reality. Overcoming limitations and nourishing the idea that it is possible. You have to put aside and give away the fear of failure. At times starting from scratch has seemed reality. The fact is that you started developing your skills when you started dreaming and caring about others in you life. Changing direction has become a fact of unforeseen circumstances. This happens every day you wake up to a new day. Every day change takes place and observing this, your reality, can change any and all moments. 

     A possibility of true passion is unlockable if perception of your time alive is flexible. Reality is created in our own minds. The dreams and goals manifest as you walk the thin line of courage and fear. Using worry as a tool to predict circumstances and possibilities, courageously you develop a plan and feel ease within. 

     Envision the last breath of your life! Take time to predict your regrets and reflect on your accomplishments. Embracing your possible futures and your narrations of your past. To get to the beginning you must imagine the end and to get to the end you must continue where you started at the beginning. This has already been set into motion due to the skills and aspirations that started from you first memories. Practice this and you will seemingly without thought set in motion the beginnings of all things that are important. Amazing and wondrous destinies of anything and all that is possible in ones life. Your plan comes together as natural as nature itself and the paths you walk lead you where you truly want to travel.

     

     In Berkley just outside of Oakland Peoples homes rest on top the water. There is a  small pub close to the docks that has a fun type of entertainment. They have a band of pirate musicians singing sea songs. A couple band members playing the banjo. A welcome sound that I grew up listening to. You can tell that some of the locals go there a lot before setting sail or may never leave this bay and their small pub. I had a grin ear to ear watching the pirates play their music and some older people dancing to the rhythm. The food was good fresh sea food caught close to home.
     My friend and I stayed at a motel close to the docs and caught one crab that had to be thrown back. As I stood on the doc behind the motel where many artist have stayed, I looked towards some metal structures far on the other side. My friend Macsen with a glimmer in his eye explained to me that Steven Spielberg used those structures for inspiration in his Ewok that movie he produced. This made me wounder how Spielberg's mind can dream up a story by gazing at man made structures.  Being able to dream while he was awake.
     My short stay in Oakland was amazing and truly  inspiring.  I was able to visit a good friend named Rian which had moved there from Seattle a few years back. Both Ryan and Macsen had moved to big cities when young. I stayed in our home town to help my parents and then had a family. This was all new and surreal to me.
     Looking at this photo again, it brings back that newness and wounder I experienced here. It brings me a spirit of inspiration that I need to hold close so I do not loose it. How great would it be to live on a boat and explore new areas by sea? Or dream up a movie while having a cup of coffee and gazing across a bay.

Mirror Pond close to down town Bend Oregon

     The sun is setting above the Colorado river in Glenwood Springs colorado on a warm summer day. A freight train rests on a bridge where the Rolling Fork river meets the colorado. A small town nestled in the rocky mountains is a welcome visit to a weary traveler.  There are natural hot springs that flow into the river which is a nice surprise for the weary traveler. A good soak with a lagoon like feel just outside the current.
     If you visit at the right time you may sit in the park and eat good food while listening to live music in this small community. Every thing you want to do is in walking distance. I found the people there very friendly and sort of care free. Seemingly like I found a new home It was almost pain full leaving when we did. we were making our way back home and had other places to see.

     After driving across the United States my friend Macsen and I found a piece of heaven. We had made it by driving six hours a day while camping along the way. He was the driver and I was the navigator traveling across terrain from high deserts to camping on the banks of big rivers.
     We arrived in the Appalachian Mountains close to the Tennessee border. His friends natural property stretched for miles. This is the farthest I had been away from home and my family weighed on my mind. There was an old cabin on the property of this sub tropical rainforest that was shambles inside. I was more moral help in making it a nice getaway and enjoyed the serenity I felt from this place.The feeling of completion and the beauty of the mountains was more than I could hope for.
     You see, Macsen and I grew up in a poverty stricken time in Bend Oregon. Times were hard for my friend and me. None the less, we were living in poverty with a view. The local economy failed and many families were impacted including mine. In the eighties we would stand in long lines to get powdered milk and cheese. Macsen also had difficulties fitting into the Central Oregon of those days.
     The trip was a chance to feel young and explore our natural world that brought a sense of peace when we were young. We both spent a lot of time on our own and had street smarts. We knew each others trials and were pretty much cut from the same cloth.
     The trip was not easy because to make a living we both had sacrificed our bodies. With back injuries, in a car, driving and camping for days on end, I felt rather unpleasant. We did get on each others nerve from time to time.
     The rewards were much greater than the pain. We ate wild berries and shitaki mushrooms we picked from the land. There was a black bear in the area and I rather enjoyed the nervousness that idea caused my friend. I have camped a lot and he was new again to it. He had moved to the bay area at a young age and had traveled a lot of the world. Around the campfires he told me stories of his travels. I learned to be a good traveler. You have to be prepared and not worry about the unknown. You have to embrace it!
     I have overcome many obstacles in my life. I am sure there will be more to come. While sitting there in the wilderness I felt a sense of accomplishment. Life is an adventure, in crisis you can find opportunity and in sacrifice liberation appears.
   

Stormy skies before the barometer rise

a seagull sails a tide in the sky

with a gift of sight both day and night

hip hop blowing as loud as a peace kite

Going to California with diamonds in his eyes

a caged bird flies away from the lies

truth be told and told the truth

freedom lies behind mild eyes

A clearing sky behind old flights

The new days dawn his guiding light

A bird once caged by others lies

sings of a train ride at night

Other's eyes can keep their ties

Deceiving lies while others fly

Travel at night, the stars are bright

A guiding light, the gift of sight